1. What's An Average 6 Inch Long
Inside A Guy's Pants And Girls Love To Blow It Up?
A:1000- Rupee Currency Note.!
Always Think POSITIVE
2. To make it straight,
she pulls it.
2 make it stand,
she rubs it.
2 make it stiff,
she licks it.
2 let it "IN"
she pushes it.
!!!!
True! Threading a needle is not easy!!!
3. Bite the neck gently,
Chew the breast softly,
Spread the legs slowly,
Suck the juice excitingly,
That is the way to eat Tandoori Chicken!!!!
4. KISSING at the top,HOLDING at the middle &FIRE at the bottom!
Do you know the ANSWAR?
WHAT?
ho...don't think dirty...
its A ''CIGRETTE''
5. I'm very good in bed...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
I can sleep all day...
What Were U Thinking . . . ;->
6. A Beautiful Girl Goes To Professior Room
And
Say : I'll Do AnyThing To Pass In The Exams. . . .
&
Professor Says:
NOW OPEN YOUR
Books & Study. . . . ;->
7. Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?
8. Shut Up"""
S=surprises 4 u
H=happiness 4 u
U=unlimited love 4 u
T=true passion 4 u
U=u alwayz in my mind
P=praying 4 u
So again..
Shut Up……
9. Girl: What do you like in me?
Boy: Those who white big balls having black dots in it.
Girl: Whattt???
Boy: Yes i like your eyes. Its really beautiful..
10. fuck off
f
u
c
k off
yes fuck off
ooh. dont get the wrong meaning.
fuck off means:
F-friend like
U- u
C-can
K-keep
O-our
F-friendship
F-forever..
11. Hold It Gently
Put 2 Fingrs
If Dey Dnt
Fit
Fos Dem In
If De Hole‘s Big Enaf
Put3
Muv Up & Down
Slowly..
Ooh Yes..
Can U Fil It?
Dats How U Wash A Glass
12. I want to touch ur lips taste ur tongue smell ur breath
hai wat hapen
i am ur colgate
13. Diagram in book was not clear..So,madam drew diagram on blackboard and announced..“Don‘t look at Book Figure, Look at my Figure!“
14. He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!
15. Ques. What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
Ans. U can unscrew a light bulb
16. How do u teach a blonde maths?U subtract her chlothes Devide her legsAnd square root her.
17. He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!
18. I luv the way it rubs aganst the soft pink flesh creating creamy fomy liquid, as it trust in and out up & down, cant wait till nxt time my toothBrush
19. Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
which is 6″ long
and move it in and out
and wait for a white substance to come out?
Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
i cant tell such words
Boy:dont worry its tooth brush
20. It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.
21. True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.
22. he Is Hot!
She Is Sweet!
She Always Need A Lip 4 Kiss
Whole World Mad 4 Her!
Who!
Who Is She?
Do U Know?
"Tea"
23. "U" r so cute
"U" r so Nice
when i was in Dark
"U" gave me light
because of that
"U" r in my Life
so
THANKS'
THANKS
A LOT
"PHILIPS"
TUBELIGHT.
24. I want to tell u this!!
And its very
important to u
I L
I LO
I LOVE
I LOVE YO
I LOVE YOGURT WITH BIRYANI !!
25. I want u …
To be with me In a nice Restaurent
To have candle light dinner…. &
to say those sweet three words to U….
“Pay The Bill”
26. My eyes detected
My heart reacted
Thousand were rejected &
Only you were selected.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because I needed a monkey
for an advertisement.
27. You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!
Just a second, don’t misunderstand.
CUTE means:
Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere..
28. I am your girlfriend:
Smart.
Intelligent.
Sweet.
Talented.
Excllent.
Romantic.
theek kaha na ?
In short I am your S.I.S.T.E.R
29. SomeOne..
MiSSES U..
NeeDS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
… THE ZOO ..
30. Shut Up"""
S=surprises 4 u
H=happiness 4 u
U=unlimited love 4 u
T=true passion 4 u
U=u alwayz in my mind
P=praying 4 u
So again..
Shut Up....
31. Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi : I want 2 help Deepa.
32. A peach is a peach.a plum is a plum.a kiss aint a kiss unless its
wiv tongues.so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some
exercise
33. A Short thing
It gets Longer
when U hold it
N pass between
women Breasts
N enters into
A hole
What is it?
1 min 2 think!
Car Seat Belt
U dirty mind.
34. In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere!
You Know whose that boy?
Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap!
35. Girls misuse it!
Anger robs it!
Models sell it!
Photogrphs cage it!
Doctors advice it!
Death freezes it!
Artists create it!
That's SMILE
Keep Smiling..
36. Today is "Sunday"
Send thsi sms to 10 peoples
and InshAllah tomorrow will be
"Monday"
Beleive me it works...............
37. I really deeply wish dat u r here with me in my room. on my bed&lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
38. He came 2 me 1 night… explored my body… licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill.. when satisfied he left… I was hurt… DAMN MOSQUITO
39. Someday u may lose u r hair. u may lose u r teeth.u r money & even lose u r mind. But 1 thing u will never loose is u r good looks .bcoz u don’t have good looks!
40. This is an adult message.
If u r under the age of 18,
Please dont read this message…
.
.
.
.
.
Elections are coming…
Please Vote…!!
41. HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press down* HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press up*
42. MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??
43. Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder oh dat reminds me can u remind me wot the reminder was ive forgot!
44. This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!
45. Yesterday whole night i
was thinkin abt only U
Now i\'m
thinking of "V".
Tonight i\'ll definitly think abt w,x,y and z
46. How do u teach a blonde maths? U subtract her chlothes Devide her legs And square root her.
47. "Kissing is best practice for lips'
"It keeps the lips"
wet,
soft,
flexible,
and,
reddish pink,
so always keep kissing'
to
"SWEET CHILDRN
48. A Short thing, It gets Longer when U hold it, N pass between women Breasts, N enters into A hole What is it 1 min 2 think! Car Seat Belt, U dirty mind.
49. A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.. If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"
50. Diagram in book was not clear..
So,madam drew diagram on blackboard and announced..
“Don‘t look at Book Figure, Look at my Figure!“
51. Boy1: Meet my Wife Tina.
Boy2: Oh! I know her.
Boy1: How?
Boy2: We were caught sleeping together.
Boy1: What the Hell...
Boy2: Two years ago, In the Management Class.
52. An 85 yr old man went for a sperm test.
Dr gave bottle to collect sperm. Next day, the man came with empty bottle & told that he tried with his left hand then with his right hand.Then his wife tried with her left hand & then with her rt hand. Then his daughter in law tried with both hands & mouth. Then the neighbour's wife and daughter tried the same way...
.
.
but could not open the bottle.
Think Positively plz.
53. Hate but LOVE more!
Argue but AGREE more!
Talk but LISTEN more!
Punish but FORGIVE more!
Then "U" will love people
But
people will "LOVE U" more.
54. A baby dog asks mama dog:
How papa looks like.
Mama dog said:
“Your dad came from behind, I do not have the chance to see its face carefully!”
55. Dr: Mrs Rani, good news 4 U
Girl: What do U mean by Mrs Rani? Im Miss Rani
Dr: Oh!! Am sorry Miss Rani, Bad news
56. Nurse Put Patient Finger In Her Mouth,
After Blood Test.
Patient Starts Dancing,
Nurse Asks: Why You Are Dancing?
Patient: Next Is Urine Test
57. A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,which the father receives as, your daughter has been successful in BED
58. Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally……
Thats why boys go to college regularly
59. I luv the way it rubs aganst the soft pink flesh creating creamy fomy liquid, as it trust in and out up & down, cant wait till nxt time my toothBrush
60. You know how they say; you shouldn't dip your pen in company ink. Well what would it mean if someone said; I'm glad I dipped my pen in your ink?
61. How do u teach a blonde maths?U subtract her chlothes Devide her legsAnd square root her.
62. How do u teach a blonde maths?
U subtract her chlothes
Devide her legs
And square root her.
63. It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.
64. this is great stuff, Man really good effort to show " HOW POLLUTED ONE'S MIND CAN BE"
65. girl phoned me
the other day and said …
“Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
I went over. Nobody was home
66. Let me kiss ur lips, let me feel ur teeth, let me feel ur tongue.SMILE!This is ur friend “PEPSODENT” reminding you to brush ur teeth,Twice a day Everyday
67. Night Was Dark Moon Was High,
Boy Stopped His Car,
Girl Asked Him Why?
He Came Close,
She Felt Shy.
He Went Near The Ear & Whispered 3 Words,
CNG MUKK GAI.
68. U are a…
B. I. T. C. H.
Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Horny
r u smiling now?
*YOU BITCH*
69. What word can be defined as both A) A type of flower, and B) Ascended?
Rose. "Rose" is the past tense of "Rise". The flower name comes to us from the Latin "Rosa".
70. What word means both "Sacred" and "Surmise"?
Divine. Divine also means "Excellent".
71. Which word defines both A) Ponder moodily, and B) Children of the household?
Brood. Brood also means "To sit upon and incubate".(Only a real chicken would do something like that!)
72. If I am a word describing a layer of mammalian fat, and also a word meaning "utter sobbingly", what word am I?
Blubber. It's interesting to note that both definitions come from Middle English. (Bluber and Blubren).
73. What single word defines both relatively low temperatures and a viral infection?
cold. Cold has several other meanings including "aloof" and "lacking freshness".
74. What word means both "Sore" and "To present for acceptance"?
Tender. Tender can also relate to "affection". This particular word is not in my mother-in-law's vocabulary!
75. What word represents both a European nobleman and "Be of importance"?
Count. A third meaning is "To list numbers in a progressive sequence".
76. "A specific annual time division" and "Enhance flavor of food" both define what word?
Season. When animals are ready to mate they are said to be "in season".
77. Which word do "Type of furnace" and "Move slowly and steadily" both define?
Forge. Another definition--Falsely signing someone else's name on a check or document.
78. Which single word can be used to define both "Seashore" and "Move or behave aimlessly"?
Coast. To "Coast" also means to take the easy way out of a task or situation.
79. Love is an intention,
that goes with affection,
with the intent of injection,
done in the midsection,
in a preferred position,
during private session
80. You are a GHONCHU..
G-reat
H-ot
O-ne in million
N-aughty
C-ute
H-umble
U-nique
Zyada khush mat ho, hai to tu ghonchu hi
81. Ive got ur bak & uve got mine.
ill help u out netime.
2 see u hurt 2 $ee u cry
.make$ me weep & wanna die.
ill b right here til d end.co$ ur my love & my bestfriend....
82. Ive got ur bak & uve got mine. ill help u out netime. 2 see u hurt 2 $ee u cry .make$ me weep & wanna die. ill b right here til d end.co$ ur my love & my bestfriend....
83. K
K
k
Ki
Ki
Ki
Ki
Kis
Kis
Kis
Kis
Kis
Kiss
Kiss
Kiss
Kiss
Kissh
Kissh- Mish
84. If You are in tension
Try
Sex
It helps you to relax
Do you know how to do sex ??
Let me teach you.
S: Sleep.
E: Eat.
X: Xercise.
Dont always think dirty.
but if you are in tension try sex.
85. I was nervous at first, it was big & long &went straight up, Ihad to try it... i eased myself
onto it & i liked it! i went up & down on it, i love escalators now
86. From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue
feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!
87. He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill...
wen satisfied he left... I was hurt... DAMN MOSQUITO
88. In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think
of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because
I am hungry.
89. Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But
1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!
90. I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!
91. It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed
just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!
92. Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could
work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!
93. At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow
quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?
94. Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in
slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
95. Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel
u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?
96. I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust
in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH
97. come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied
lovingly urs TOILET!!!!
98. I luv u- I luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nighty.Dont be
mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed
99. Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u...
well get out of my way!
100. good bye……………. good buy
