1. friend to Sardar:

you are suppose to go to doctor todaya

what happened…?

Sardar replied:

today I am not feeling good.

So I will go tomorrow.

 

2. One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???

Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!

 

3. After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,

Do I look like a foreigner?

Wife: No! Why?

Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

 

4. Manager asked to sardar at an interview

Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?

Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

 

5. Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table &

says - What a shit ?

"I read the whole book, too many character, no story

at all" ?.

Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone

Directory..

 

6. A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was

asked a question

Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?

Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will

investigate

 

7. in an interview,

interviewer: How does an electric motor run?

SARDAR: dhuurrrrrrrrrr..

Interviewr shouts: stop it !

SARDAR: dhurr dhup dup dup dup.

 

8. Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends. I am Sardar and this is sardarney, this is my kid and this is my kidney.

 

9. What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..? Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

 

10. A sardar saw a board on which it was written " padhne wala stupid".

Sardar got irritated and wrote "likhan wala stupid"

 

11. WHY WAS SARDAR JEE ARRESTED IN A POLITICAL RALLY. BECOZ HE SAW A GIRL GOING AROUND WITH A BADGE ON HER CHEST WHICH SAID"PRESS" AND SARDAR JEE PRESSED IT

 

12. Sardarji is filling up a job application...........................

He promptly fills in the lines on Name, Age, Addr,& etc.

Then came the column Salary Expected.....................

After much thought he writes: Yes

 

13.  teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except one Sardarji.

He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

 

14. Police:Instead of hospital why did u take ur wife to COMEDY MOVIE during pregnancy

Sardar: ALL the child were crying when they born

I want my child to laugh so i take my wife TO CINEMA

 

15. Teacher: How Do You Differentiate

“Childhood” & “Young Age”

SARDAR:

Im Childhood, We Sleep With “MOTHER”

&

In Young Period

We Sleep With Our “WIFE”

 

16. Judge: why r u arrested?

Sardar: for shopping early?

Judge: well, that’s not a crime,

anyway how early were u shopping?

Sardar: before opening the shop…..

 

17. Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?

Sardar: BA

Professor:For sodium?

Sardar: NA

Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA

& 2 atoms of NA combined?

Sardar: BANANA

 

18. A sardar goes to a restaurant

and his cell phone rings.

Wife: How are you?

Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but

how did you know where I was?

 

19. A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant

and puts his finger

on the last of menu: Bring this.

Waiter: Oh! you can’t get it

because he is the owner of restaurant.

 

20. Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many

coins I have in my pocket?

Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?

Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them

 

21. Sardarji to others:

Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?

One said, Yes I did

Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,

I found the rubberband!

 

22. Sardar made a call to the airport.

Asked,”How long is the journey from Punjab to America?”

Receiptionist: “One second sir….”.

Sardar: Ok, thank you..!!!

 

23. Sardar: I havn’t slept all nite in the train.

Friend: Y?

Sardar: Got upper berth.

Friend: Y didn’t u exchanged?

Sardar: oye, there was nobody

2 exchange in the lower birth..

 

24. Q:- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?

A:- They think their picture is being taken.

 

25. A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…

still he was in jail…….why?

coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

 

26. A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

Judge asked :

How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied :

Ok! We will apply next year after getting another one.

 

27. Teacher: what is the scientific formula for water?

Sardar: h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.

Teacher: nonsense! how did you derive that?

Sardar: auntie, it is H to O (h2o)!

 

28. Sardar got job in a telenor call centre.

Customer: telelenor sim blocked what to do?

Sardar: dont take tension remove telenor &

put warid sim.

Thank you for calling ufone.

 

29. Question: Why did 18 Sardars

go to a movie?

Answer: Because below 18

was not allowed.

 

30. Do U know why a sardar ji kept

the door open while taking a bath?

Because he was scared that someone

might see through the Eye-hole

 

31. Sardar’s Leave application

Dear Sir,

My wife is ill.

As there is no other Husband

in the family to look after her,

Kindly grant me leave for one day.

 

32. Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,

one is green and one is blue with red spots!

Sardar ji: Yes it’s really strange.

I’ve got another pair of the same at home.

 

33. Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days

Guess why?

because somebody had told him that

it is wrong to sleep with married women.

 

34. Sardarji opens his lunch box

in the middle of the road….why ?

Just to confirm whether he is going

to or coming back from the office

 

35. Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying….

When a person asked what he was doing….

He replied… Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar…!!!

 

36. A Teacher lecturing on population -

In India after Every 10 sec a

woman gives birth to a kid.

A Sardar stands up-

we must find & stop her!.

 

37. Sardar-

why r all these people running?

Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup,

why r others running?

 

38. How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ?

Sardarji thinks N thinks hard

&

comes to a conclusion:

I’ll drink poison n let lion eat me.

 

39. How do you recognize a Sardar in School?

He is the one who erases the notes from

the book when the teacher erases the board

 

40. Sardar at an Art Gallery:

I suppose this horrible looking thing is

what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

 

41. Sardar’s wish : when i die,

I wanna die like my grandpa

who died peacefully in his sleep

not screaming

like all the passengers in the

car he was driving..

 

42. Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.

Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.

Angry Sardar:

“Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.”

 

43. Sardar told his servant:

Go and water the plants. Servant

it is already raining. Sardar: So what?

Take an umbrella and go.

 

44. Teacher: “I killed a person”

convert this sentence into future tense.

Sardar: The future tense is “u will go to jail”.

 

45. Sardar proposed a girl……

Girl said am 1 yr elder to u…….

Sardar said Oye no problem

soniye I’ll marry u next year.

 

46. Two sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.

Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.

sardar 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.

 

47. On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him,

“Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?”

Sardar : “Ya sure, from landline or mobile”

 

48. Doctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.

Do you want to see any one before you die?

Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.

 

49. Sardar was busy removing

a wheel from his auto.

A man asks sardar why are

you removing a wheel from your auto.

sardar : Cant you read the board.

Parking is only for 2 wheeler

 

50. Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.

Boss was happy and asked “what you did till evening?”

Sardar :”Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright”

 

51. Interviewee;What is your date of birth?

Sardar;nov 28.

Interviewer;which year?

Sardar;abey ullu everyyear.

 

52. A sardarji photographer is focusing

a dead body’s face in a funeral function,

suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.

why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”

 

53. Sardar was arrested 4 a road accident

Judge : how did accident occur

Sardar :I don’t know sir I was sleeping

 

54. Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars we will go direct to the sun."

"But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

 

55. Once, two Sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games of chess to pass the time.

They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends

dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said -

"Come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles!"

 

56. The Sardarji Doctor to his patient:

"It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain."

 

57. GAMBLER Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed.

"What happened ?" asked Surjit.

"Yaar, I lost Rs. 1000 in a bet yesterday."

"How come ?"

"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."

"But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?"

"Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "

 

58. Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.

Sardar says... Drink quickly..... .

Wife asks why...

sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10

 

59. Sardar: Should i buy tickets to my children.

Conductor: Yes only if they are above 8.

Sardar: Thank god i have only 6 children

 

60. Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for

another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. 'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

 

61. Sardar ji.. Says I Love u to his galfrend.. And suddenly falls on the floor...

GalFrnd.. What iz this?

Sarda Ji.. O ji, i'm falling in love )

 

62. Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it had I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too.

 

63. Sardar ji is buying a TV

"Do you have color TVs?"

"Sure."

"Give me a green one, please."

 

64. Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"

 

65. Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

 

66. Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."

His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Santa says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

 

67. Sardar's essay on cow:

 

He is d cow.

He has got 4 legs 2gether.

2 r 4ward & 2 aftrwards.

It gives milk wich comes frm 4 taps attached 2 d basement.

@Its motion is vry useful of green color.

It has tail situated in the backyard & has hair on it to frighten flies.

 

Many use it as vehicle also.....;-)

 

68. Boss asked SARDAR to buy 2 CORNER Tickets for a Movie to watch with his Girlfriend.

 

Sardar bought 2 corner tickets

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A1..............A60

 

69. Waiter: Would u like ur cofee black?

Sardar: what other colors do u have?.:-)

 

70. Sardar To His Friend-

I Keep Seeing Spots In Front Of My Eyes.

 

Friend-

Have You Seen Doctor?

 

Sardar-

No, Just Spots... ;->

 

 

71. A sardar's response to the comment,

Think about it!:

I don't have to think

I'm sardar!

 

72. What does Sardarji do?????????

when he has one white sheet,,,

and wants an extra white sheet?

He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

 

73. A Sardar & A Wife Were Walking Outside

When The Wife Said,  "Oh Look At The Dead Bird!!!"

The Sardar Looked at Sky & Said, "Where, Where"???

 

74. Why did sardar cut the sides of medicine

think

think

think

tO avoid side effects

 

75. Sardar Ji as a Director:

You should jump to the Swimming Pool from 100 Ft Height

Hero: I don't know Swimming.

Sardar Ji: Oye don't Worry Yaar! Pool is Empty...

 

76.

 

Five Hi-Tech Sardar Inventions:

1- Water Proof Towel

2- Solar Powered Torch

3- Book On How 2 Read

4- Pedal Powered Wheel Chair

5- Umbrella With Holes 2 See Raining.. :-)

 

 

 

77. Sardar filling up a form in u.s embassy,

 

name ?

A:  Baldev Singh

Sex?

A:  two times in a day

 

 

78. Do U Knw Why Sardar Bought A Brown Cow

.

.

.

 

.

.

.

to Get CHOCLATE MILK !!

 

 

79. A sardar was drying some fruits in the sunlight and then eating them

Some1 asked what r u doing?

Sardar: I am weak. The doc has advised me to eat dry fruits!

 

80. Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills the birth certificate. ”

Mother: Sikh.

Father: Sikh.

Kid: Chinese.”

“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Sikh?” ”

Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it said every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.”

 

 

81. Sardar: ‘Doctor, my son swallowed a key.’

Doctor: When?

Sardar: 3 months ago.

Doctor: What were u doing till now?

Sardar: We were using duplicate key.

Doctor: So why have u come today?

Sardar: We ve lost the duplicate key !!!

 

82. Sardar in airoplane going to Bombay.

While its landing he shouted:

“Bombay ….Bombay”

Airhostess said: “B silent.”

Sardar: “Ok… Ombay… Ombay”

 

83. Teacher: What happen on 1869?

Sardar: I don’t know.

Teacher: Stupid its birthday of Gandhi G.

Now tell me what happen on 1873?

Sardar: Its 4th birthday of Gandhi G:-)

 

84. Sardar after interview

everything went fine till the time

he asked me for testimonials.

I guess i showed him the wrong thing !!!

 

85. Interviewer: Where were you born?

Sardar:  Punjab.

Interviewer: Which part?

Sardar: What which part, whole body was born in Punjab. “;-)

 

86. How do you sink a submarine

filled with sardars..?

.

.

.

.

Just knock the door.

 

87. Sardar in Biology Practical Exam.

Examiner: See the bird’s leg and tell name.?

Sardar: I don’t know!

Examiner: You have failed. What’s your name.?

Sardar: See my legs.

 

88. Sardar: What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.

Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea.

All cars that I know start with petrol.

 

89. Teacher: What is the difference between

Landline and Mobile Phone..?

Sardar: On landline we dial number with our finger

while on mobile we dial number with our thumb.

 

90. A man asks a sardar:

What about your paper of english.?

sardar said:

It was ok but I forgot 3rd form of think.

Then I thought

and thought

and thought

then wrote “THUNK”

 

91. Oxygen is must for breathing:

It was discovered in 1773.

Sardar: Thanks God.

I was born after that.

 

92. Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower

& red light glowing on the top,

seeing this he said, India is developing fast,

see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air

 

93. Sardarji to others:

Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?

One said, Yes I did

Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,

I found the rubberband!

 

94. Four guys

1 from Harward:

1 Oxford

1 Texas

&

a Sardar from Pujab university

1 common question:

What is the fastest thing in world?

Oxford:Light

Harvard:Thought

Texas:Blink of an eye

Sardar:It’s loose motions,

because last night I was lying in my bed

& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,

it was over!

 

95. Q:Why is a Sardarji standing below

a tube light with a open mouth?

A:Because his doctor advised him

“Today’s dinner should be light”

 

96. Sardar: My wife is so naughty.

She always kidding with me.

Friend: how..?

Sardar: yesterday I went home.

and I put my hands on her eyes.

She said: Its you the watchman.

 

97. Sardar-

why r all these people running?

Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup,

why r others running?

 

98. Sardar lost his cheqbook.

Manager: You should take care

anyone can sign your cheque

and empty your deposits.

Sardar: How can anyone sign..?

I am not a fool.

I’ve already signed all the cheques.

 

99. One day Sardar had fight

with his father.

He took a picture of his father.

Place it on a tree in graveyard.

with a note.

“COMING SOON”

 

100. Sardar to another Sardar

That girl is deaf.

2nd Sardar: How do you know…?

1st Sardar: I said I Love You to her.

She said: I have a new Sandal.