1. Smoke everyday!

Smoke means

S=send

M=me

O=one

K=kool sms

E=everyday

So plz feel free to smoke.

Request u 2 be a chain smoker.Good day…

 

2. It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let’s Thank…

 

3. Lovers love it, Friends need it, Relationship starts with it & Life ends with it.

It is - - - d-a- - -z. Reply immediately if you are a genius ?

Answer: - Randeavulz means meeting or date

 

4. I Am A13 Letter Word Doctors Hate it.

Fishermen Like It.

Children's Like To Eat It.

Who Am I?

 

Answer:- Chathuringmes: (worms)

 

• Fishermen love worms as they use it as a bait to catch fish

• Doctors hate worms as worms are parasites that are a cause of various diseases, some of them can even be very fatal

• Children like it in the form of gummy worms or candies.

 

5. Ur Ultimate Ur Logicall Ur lovely Ur Unpredictable In shortcut ur ullu.

 

6. I know you think I’m cute, I know you think I’m fine, but like the other guys, take a number and wait in line!

 

7. What is full form of A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls heart.

 

8. Teacher: if A=B, B=C then A=C can u tell one more example of this type Student : I love my teacher, teacher loves his daughter, so i love teacher daughter…

 

9. A chinese pair Mr and Miss Hua, got twins without getting married. What did they name them?

Ans:

Jo Hua, So Hua.

 

10. May ur heart b happy & ur days b bright. May ur roads b smooth & ur burdens light. May u find dreams & touch a star & never forget how.

 

11. I have Something for You.

.

.

.

close your eyes

.

.

.

1

2

3

4

5

.

.

.

cheater… you didn’t close your eyes….

so nothing for you….

excepet

“My Best Wishes”

 

 

12. Maths Magic:

Ur cell nmbr’s

last digit x 2

+ 5

x 50

+ ur AGE

+ 365

&

- 615.

The last

2 no. is

ur age &

1st no. is

ur cell’s last no

JUST TRY IT!

 

13. 259 X (UR AGE) X 39= ANSWER (?)

Try it & you will be surprised to see the result.

APKI AGE 3 BAR APKO LIKHI HUWE NAZAR AAYEGE.

TRY MUST AND WATCH THE RESULT

EXAMPLE= 259 X (Age) 27 X 39 = 272727

 

14. Cleverness

Naughtiness

Pain

Hope

Emotions

Shyness

Love

Quitness

Fright

Depth

Or Innocence.?

Reply Wid Honesty

 

15. Yes or NO? It’s all the same!

Fill these blanks with YES or NO

 

………… ., I don’t have a brain.

………… ., I don’t have sense.

………… ., I am stupid.

 

16. Magical msg !

Its called mind reader send it to 6 people(Not me) then go 2 ur inbox and

press # it will say ur lover name.

(Its not a joke) Try it..!

 

17. Q. Who Are The Two Brothers

Who Live On Opposite Sides

Of The Road Yet Never See Each Other?

Ans: Eyes.

 

18. Rememberance Day

What 3 Things Come To Your Mind When You Remember Me?

Reply Is Must !

 

19. FRIEND BOOK:

BIRTHEDAY:

PET NAME:

FAV.Colour:

Fav.Song.

Best Freind:

Best Love:

Aim

U Fear

U Love

Reply Must Plz

 

20. I Can SEE ‘TEA’ in A TEA-CUP

Can you SEE the WORLD in WORLD-CUP?

I can SING on Any STAGE

Can you SING in COMA-STAGE?

I can FIX my PASSPORT Size PHOTO in My PASSPORT

Can you FIX Your STAMP Size PHOTO in a STAMP?

 

21. What happens when a lion roars thrice?

-

-

-

-

-

Think

-

-

-

-

-

Any guess?

-

-

-

-

-

Ok, I will tell you..

-

-

-

-

-

Tom & Jerry cartoon begins!

 

22. Contribution - 15+15+15= 45

Back 1 + 1+ 1 = 3

Contribution 14+14+14 = 42

Servant Pocket = 2

= 44

 

 

 

23. WHAT IS THE COLOUR OF ZEBRA ??

BLACK AND WHITE OR WHITE OR BLACK?

COME GIVE ME ANSWER YAA YAA YAAA YAAA NOO NOO NO ACTUALLY THE COLOUR OF ZEBRA IS

BLACK + WHITE = WHITE INTO BLACK ;)

 

24. Try This , go to Write msg, activate dictionary[T9] then hide ur screen with ur 1 hand n type 4164771968, now remove ur hand and read it it ..phir dekho kamaal.

 

25. Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage) , what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend ), what is permanent is boring(wife)

 

26. Past is experience! Present is experiment! Future is expectation! Use ur experience in ur experiment 2 acheive ur expectations and enjoy life...!

 

27. First of first is first of you, Then there are zeros two , First of last is last of you, Now you tell me what are you? 

 

28. what comes down but never goes up? ..... think ....... think ....... think ........ plz .... think ..... try it ........ ....... its easy ....... still confused? ....... ok... ..... oh its RAIN...!!

 

29. On may 4, 2006, at 2 minutes & 3 seconds , after 1:00 AM the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06, its 123456 this will never happen , again in our lives...

 

30. Nobody's right till somebody's wrong; Nobody's weak till somebody's strong; Nobody's lucky till luv comes along; Nobody's lonely till somebody's gone.

 

31. If 1 = 5 2 = 25 3 = 125 4 = 625 5 = ? Scroll down for Answer The answer is 1 Remember the first line? 1=5 ? Don't think too much, relax!!!

 

32. Believe in God!

Pray 2 god always n everytime…

-

-

-

-

-

Pray

-

-

-

-

-

Pray

-

-

-

-

-

Pray

-

-

-

-

-

I SAID PRAY!

NOT press-press!

 

33. Which part of the body is most sensitive while watching adult

movies?

 

…guesss what ?

Ha Ha Ha U’re wrong

“Its ur ears”

 

34. Nobody's right till somebody's wrong:

Nobody's weak till somebody's strong:

Nobody's lucky till luv comes along:

Nobody's lonely till somebody's gone.

 

35. # Look…the Moon is Calling U

# If I Get Scared

# Dedicated to my mom

# It Only Takes a Minute

# Why Did the Statue of Liberty

# Its only with a female

# Love and death are 2 un-invited guests

# Love and death are 2 un-invited guests

# To make a loving pair

# Wishing u a very very happy diwali

# There are million stars and a million dreams

# Make for Me a Place Within Your Heart

# Im Sending

# Love has its ups and downs

 

36.

 

oT TnAW T2UL I

+THpinboop YA2

!..2mA3rb T33w2

Confused na? Read it in a mirror

 

37. Past is experience! Present is experiment! Future is expectation! Use ur experience in ur experiment 2 acheive ur expectations and enjoy life...!

 

38. 2night 12:30-3.30am COSMO rays entering earth from MARS so switch off ur mobiles-send 2 ur frndz-told by NASA in BBC news. SAVE URSELF FROM MOBILE RADIATION.

 

39. Plz Send me Rs20:

 

100 Mese

90 Fools is SMS ko

Pura Pardhy ßina Reply karege

Send it

2ur Freindz n Check

How Many send

Jitne paise milege adhe mere

 

40. Brain twister:

It is exclusive for those who are wide readers.

Please rearrange the letters to make it 1 word only.

"CONE LAY DICE"

No reply, low IQ!

 

41. Ever wonder why

the sun LIGHTENS our hair, but DARKENS our skin?

Why is it that to STOP Windows 98, you have to click START?

Why is 'ABBREVIATED' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do PRACTICE?

Why is the man who invests all your money called BROKER?

 

 

42. Who said fill in the blank is very easy?

Try this.

Fill in the blank with Yes or No.

"___, I am not a normal person."

 

 

43. Give your mate a black eye

•        7cm 'scope' with black eye powder.

•        Ages 3+

 

 

44. Bless a my soul whatsa wrong with me? I'm itching like a man on a fuzzy tree.

•        Contains Crushed Rosehips.

•        Do not use on sensitive skin.

•        Ages 9+

 

 

45. Looks white, washes dirty

•        6cm x 3.5cm cake of white soap with black nigrosine dye in the back.

•        Wash off with plain soap and water.

•        Ages 3+.

 

 

46. Big Value Box of 48 packets each containing 20 water bomb balloons.

47. 20 bombs to fill and fling.

•        20 water bomb balloons.

 

 

48. Take back what's yours.

•        About 90cm of nylon line on a fast retracting spool.

 

 

49. Atishchoo, Atishchoo we all fall down.

•        Contains pepper.

•        Ages 9 and up.

 

 

50. Sugar cube with attitude.

•        One cube of fake sugar (wrapped for freshness).

•        Contains: Citric Acid, Soda Bicarbonate, Dextrose, E471, Dried Skimmed milk.

 

 

51. Turns a drink into a red frothy potion.

•        One cube.

•        Ages 4 and up.

•        Contains: Bicarbonate of Soda, Tartaric Acid, Dextrin, Eggwhite, Carmoisine, Ponceau 4R (E124), Lactose, Cellulose Powder, Cellulose Microcrystalline, Magnesium Stearate, Sodiumcarboxy7methyl Starch.

 

52. Stir up some creepy crawlie tea.

•        One sugar cube with plastic bug.

•        Non toxic.

•        Ingredients: Sugar, Glucose, Arrome Natural, Colouring (E131)

 

 

53. Makes a mean cup of tea.

•        One tea bag.

•        Contains tea and chilli.

•        Ages 3+

 

 

54. Classic blue ink which disappears in it's own. ADULTS ONLY.

•        Adults Only.

•        Alkaline substance.

•        Use only as directed.

•        Keep away from children.

•        Ingredients: Water, thymolphthalein, Sodium Hydroxide.

•        Do not drink.

•        In case of eye or mouth contact drench and seek medical advice.

 

 

55. Rearrange somebody's drawers or file cabinets in a different order and see them baffled.

 

56. Hard boil an egg and place it in the regular egg carton the night before. In the morning, ask someone to help you make breakfast and beat the egg to make omelets. Hand them the hard-boiled egg and watch them trying to crack it!

 

57. On the other hand, you may just glue the eggs to the carton and ask someone to hand them to you in the morning. As the victims struggle to take the eggs out of the carton, they break.

 

58. This one is to play Dr Dolittle. Tape a little walky-talky on your pet or hide it somewhere near where it is laying. Walk off to a safe distance where you can keep yourself hidden from others with the other piece. As soon as another family member tries to pick up or pat on the back of your pet, say in a gruff voice, "I hate you doing this to me." See them jump with fright and shock.

 

59. Late at night, fill the hair-dryer with baby powder. Catch the expression of someone who has just washed his or her hair and turned it white by using the hair dryer.

 

60. This can be done in class, office or home. Ask your friends, colleagues and siblings to perform particular actions together at the same pre-planned time like dropping their pencils at the same time, to tie shoelaces, to reboot their computers, to drink water or any such innocent actions. These synchronized actions are sure to surprise anybody who will wonder about what is happening.

 

61. Good for teachers. Tell your students that you are just going to note the scores that they have got on their tests or exams and will hand out to them after an hour. Go to the room and them keep running out looking like very scared and tell them that the principal has just spilled coffee or ink on the test/examination papers and they will have to take them again. Note their reactions and exclamations. You can bet that the dullest of all students will loudly claim that they had done their best this time and it is not fair to them. Then you can tell them how much they have really scored.

 

62. Reach down and loosen the foot end of the top sheet, and then double it up underneath to tuck it under the top of the mattress. Nothing appears changed, but the occupant ends up trying to fit him/herself into a nice tight *U* made by the top sheet.

 

63. Get a small paper or styrofoam cup with a cover and poke a hole in the bottom with one of your fingers. Stick one of your fingers through the hole and make it look as though it is sitting on the bottom of the cup. Pour some ketchup on the finger. Open it up and show it to a stinky girl who has cooties.

 

64. In the cafeteria, ask someone, "Did you know there is a chemical reaction between butter and salt that makes it get really hot?" Take a butter pat to demonstrate, hold your hand over and say, here, feel this heat... when the mark holds his hand over the butter pat you whack down on it so he gets butter all over his hand.

 

65. Have a friend distract someone who has just opened a bottle of coke (I imagine it might work with other pop as well, but am not sure) While the "mark" is not looking, drop a couple of M&M's into the open bottle. Let the person get back to their drink. In short order, the cola will start to foam...and foam and foam and foam.

 

66. Tell your friend to bite his pinky finger nail as hard as he comfortably can for 30 seconds. Immediately have him hook his pinkies together and pull. Eeoow!

 

67. Unscrew the lids of the salt and pepper shakers, and fill the lids with salt and pepper, respectively. Then, tear or cut circles out of paper napkins to fit exactly over the lids. Holding the paper in place, carefully invert each lid and screw it onto the wrong shaker. The victim will see salt in the bottom of the shaker, but only pepper will come out, and vice versa.

 

68. Fill a manila envelope with shaving cream. Slide the open, top end of the envelope under the closed bedroom door of a friend, roommate, brother, sister... Stomp on the body of the envelope as hard as you can. The shaving cream bomb will coat everything in the room. Works best on smaller rooms, like college dorm rooms

 

69. Get a spray bottle or squirt gun and fill it with water. As someone turns away from you, go up behind them and fake a big nasty sneeze and spray/squirt the back of their neck or hand (whichever level you're at).

 

70. Take a little sauerkraut and stuff the end of it up your nose so it hangs down over your mouth. Put your hands over your nose and mouth and fake a sneeze in front of someone. Then pull your hands down and if you can stand it, start eating the saurkraut.

 

71. Paint all the bars of soap in a house/residence/whatever with colorless nail polish (reserving, of course, one for oneself) then replacing them in the soapdishes. Those suckers won't suds to save themselves.

 

72. Requires three instigators. In a large bathroom with stalls or a locker room, wait for a victim to enter the stall and close the door. #1 instigator begins flashing the lights and yelling, "Lightning!" #2 then pounds on the door of the stall yelling, "Thunder!" #3 tosses a pail-full of water over the stall onto the victim yelling, "Rain!" Then all run like heck.

 

73. Smear Vaseline on a toilet seat when no one is looking. It doesn't take much. Adding a thin layer of sand to it is even better. 2) Put a tight sheet of Glad Wrap over the bowl under the seat. This works best in women's facilities where the seat usually stays in place, but in the dark (THE DARK!!!) no one can tell. [Thanks to Nemo.] 3) Lift the toilet seat and stir in several boxes of your favorite jello...yellow/lemon is particularly appropriate but any kind you choose will be just as annoying as another! Do this after the victim goes to bed and let the jello set overnight. The next morning it will be a solid block!

 

74. Meet someone you know in the school hall, talk with them, then say goodbye and let them walk away from you. When this person is a good distance from you, call them back (as if you have a secret to tell them, so they have to get close to you again). When this person gets back to you, lean over and whisper in their ear, "How far would you have gotten if I hadn't called you back?!?!"

 

75. Tell someone you can pin a glass of water to the wall -- a real glass, not a paper cup, using an ordinary straight pin. Naturally they won't believe, so you set out to prove it.

 

76. Get a glass of water and a pin. Hold the glass up to the wall and start to pin it up. And then drop the pin. You've got the glass in position just right, so you ask your victim real nice to get the pin for you. When they bend down to pick it up, dump the water on their head.

 

77. This works especially well when there's a crowd of people watching. It can also be very dangerous for the joker, so be careful if you try it.

 

78. One joke that we did in residence was the Hungarian Fire Drill, I don't quite know why it is called that. Anyway..

 

79. The victim is on the pot in the dorm washroom. Everyone grabs a bucket (we used the waste baskets from our rooms) and fills the buckets with water. Take a paper bag and set it on fire, toss it under the door into the stall. Yell fire as everyone tosses the water into the stall. Needless to say the fire as well as the victim get very wet.

 

80. This one fellow in the house was hit a number of times and took to relieving himself in other locals. We followed him a couple of times and nailed him in many parts of the residence.

 

81. Later of course we conspired with our victim to get back at the original instigator of the drill. The guy in the stall had a bucket of water, and when the the instigator tossed the bag in we all hit him.

 

82. Later of course we conspired with our victim to get back at the original instigator of the drill. The guy in the stall had a bucket of water, and when the the instigator tossed the bag in we all hit him.

 

83. It is common for draftsmen to sprinkle SCUMEX (powdered rubber eraser) on tracings prior to doing any drawing on it. This reduces smearing of the pencil marks and such and results in a cleaner tracing

 

84. At a former employers we had replaced the Scumex at one draftsmans desk with dried parmesian cheese. It looked about the same. It was extremely interesting watching him draw for a while and then begin to smell the paper. Took the poor dude almost 10 minutes to guess that he had been gigged!

 

85. I just pulled one on somebody -- I slipped some of those anti- shoplifting strips into the lining of the victim's favorite jacket. I was set to pull another one, but didn't get the chance - to cut out a silhouette of a gun from metal and hide it in a piece of carry-on luggage.

 

86. This reminds me of a similar stunt we used to enjoy at the dining hall in my undergrad days. The food service used opaque plastic salt and pepper shakers with pop-off tops that could be pried off with a knife blade if you were persistent enough

 

87. While your friend is sleeping, carefully water down his mattress. (If he sleeps in a waterbed, just give it a few punctures)

 

88. Take an extension cord, clip off the cube-tap, seperate the wires, and strip the two ends, exposing about two inches of bare wire.

 

89. I worked nights. It wasn't hard to replace the boot file on our system disks with another that typed out "CALL GREGORY" before replacing itself with the original.

 

90. It's funny that there haven't been more computer practical jokes posted here. What a marvelous opportunity the computer affords the practical joker!

 

91. Some of the least elaborate practical jokes are the most effective. Go with a couple of friends, stand near some busy street corner, and take a great interest in some point near the top of a tall building, or maybe just up in the sky. Watch the reactions of people around you.

 

92. Take an old windowshade, go to a gymnastics show or anywhere else where people wear leotards, wait for someone to do a split, and tear the windowshade briskly, making a very loud ripping sound ...

 

93. Where I used to work, one of the group leaders used to have a Playboy calender. One of the young ladies who objected to the posting did a mastectomy & placed the paper in the phone between the pickup and the connection. The phone seemed to be complete, but did not work.

 

94. This is true. It seems that a colleague and myself are scheduled to present a paper next month at an AI conference. We've never heard of the conference nor did we write a paper.

 

95. The hardest to do/forget practical joke that I know is a variation on the theme of dismantling something large and then reassembling it in someone's office/apartment/dorm room.

 

96. Locally there was a VP who was a Volkswagen Beetle Fan, so for his birthday, some of the people who work for him stuck one in his office. It made the newspaper when the refused to take it apart.

 

97. How about some chocolate Ex-lax in brownies.

Or maybe some ambesol in the mouthwash.

 

98. Go to one of those miniature golf courses that has a windmill hole. Replace the motor with one that can spin the windmill at about 1000 RPM. Then illuminate it with a strobe light so it looks like its moving at about the same speed as before.

 

99. This was done to me when I was in college and living in a fraternity house; Take someone's door and hide it for a while. You would really be surprised how often you want to close the dang thing and it's not there to do it!

 

100. My favorite was to place a singles' advertisment for the victim. I'll leave it to you to think of what to say, but my favorite was (for a heterosexual person) to place an ad looking for someone of the same sex.