1. Husband to a newly wed wife!

I could go to the end of the world for you

Wife:Thanks,but promise me

you will stay there for the rest of your life.

 

2. I love all the stars in the sky, but they are nothing compared to the ones in your eyes!

 

3. If I were a tear in you eye, I would roll down and settle on your lips.

If you were a tear in my eye, I would never cry for the fear of losing u!

 

4. I m feeling happy, do u know why?

Coz I am so lucky, do u know how?

Coz God loves me, do u know how?

Coz he gave me a gift, do u know what?

Its YOU my love.

 

5. You are like the sunshine that's so warm

You are like sugar that's so sweet.

In short, you are like you...

And that's the reason I love you!

 

6. Three FEELINGS

what is the difference b/w stress,tension & panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &

panic is when both r pregnant

 

7. Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?

 

....

 

It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

 

8. When a man holds a womans hand before marriage, it is love but when he holds it after marriage??

Its self-defence!

:-D:-D

 

9. TO MAKE A WIFE HAPPY,

 

A HUSBAND"ONLY"HAS TO BE:

.A Friend

.Companion

.Lover

.Driver

.Electrician

.Plumber

.Mechanic

.Decorator

.Listener

.Organizer

.Sympathetic

.Warm

.Attentive

.Funny

.Understanding

.Tolerant

.Truthful

.Passionate

.Honest

.

 

.

But

TO MAKE A HUSBAND HAPPY?

 

just leave him ALONE..!

 

10.  Wats Heaven?

American Salary, British Home, Chinise Food & Indian Wife.

Wats Hell?

American Wife, Britis Food, Chinise Home & Indian salary

 

11. A man calls his wife through an !dea mobile.

But the cal goes to another woman.

They

loved & got married.

Moral:an !dea can change ur wife!!

 

12. Wife is “Recievd call”

Girl is “Dialed call”

Aunty is “Missd call”

Lover is “waiting call”

BUT

Frndship is “FEVICOL”

 

13.

Meaning of WIFE & HUSBAND..

Wonderful

Item

For

Entertainment

Handsome

Useful

Smart

But

At

Night

Dangerous

 

14. Most successful

Happy married life is

Defined as.

.

.

.

.

“Yet to be seen”

 

15. Q: If marriages are made in heaven,

than what are made in Hell?

Answer: The days after marriage!

 

16. Before marriage:

Roses are red, sky is blue,

O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:

Roses are dead,

I have flu,

don’t come near me,

Paray hatt tuu,

 

17. Banta owned a factory.

He issued orders that only married

men would be employed.

Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:

Because married men are more obedient.

18. Only true friends stand by u

during bad times.

I promise

I will attend ur wedding.

 

19. The most effective

way 2 remember

ur wife’s birthday

is 2 forget it once

 

20. Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband

said to you when he woke that morning?�

Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’�

Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?�

Witness: “My name is Susan.

 

21. Why Government do NOT

allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

Because per Constitution,

you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE

for the same Mistake.

 

22. Man : Is there any way for long life?

Doctor : Get married.

Man : Will it help?

Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.

 

23. Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the

bridegroom made to sit on the horse?

A: He is given his last chance to

run away…!!

 

24. A good marriage would be between

a Blind wife and a deaf husband.

 

25. He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don’t even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom upwards!!!

 

26. Telling a lie is

Fault 4 a little boy

an Art 4 a lover

an Accomplishment 4 a bachelor

and a Matter of survival 4 a married man

 

27. It’s funny when people discuss

LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.

It’s like asking someone,

if suicide is better or being murdered

 

28. “When a man holds a woman hands?”

When a man holds a woman’s hand

before marriage, it is love;

after marriage it is self-defense

 

29. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

 

30. For the fools marraige are burden.Marraige is the happy begining of 3rd phase of life.It is to share responsibility,having ligal relations in society.Married life becomes happy when u see the smile on ur childs face!

 

31. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that

 

32. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? -Well, it's the same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

 

33. Why do we all marry?Because romance is not the only element of life.We should also knowhorror,terror,suspense,irony,stupidity & tragedy of LIFE.

 

34. TO ALL BACHELORS

Dont Marry AIRTEL girl,

she will do magic on u.

Dont Marry BSNL girl,

she has connections with all indians.

Dont Marry IDEA girl,

she touches u tomorrow, not today.

Dont Marry RELIANCE girl,

she takes u in her mutthi mein.

Marry only HUTCH girl,

she follows u where ever u go.

 

35. Some people ask the secret

of our long marriage.

We take time to go to a restaurant

two times a week.

A little candlelight, dinner, soft music

and dancing.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

 

36. Marriage is like going to

a restaurant your choice

from the menu,

And

then look at neighbourin

table n wish you”d ordered that…..

 

37. Why do we all marry?

Because romance is not

the only element of life.

We should also know horror,

terror, suspense, irony,

stupidity & tragedy of LIFE.

 

38. First marriage is the triumph of

imagination over intelligence.

Second marriage is the

triumph of hope over experience

 

39.

The Equation of Marriage:

7 Glance = 1 Smile

7 Smile = 1 Meeting

7 Meeting = 1 Kiss

7 Kisses = 1 Proposal

7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -

And that 1 marriage has 77777+ problems.

So beware of glance!

 

 

40. Santa: Will U marry , after I die.

Wife : No I will live with my sister.

 

Wife : Will U marry , after I die.

Santa: No I will also live with ur sister.

 

41. Wise men never marry and when they marry they become otherwise.

 

42. Q: What is the similarity Between

Marriage

&

11:59 pm. ?

?

?

?

 

 

43. BOY’S ROOM BEFORE MARRIAGE

Perfumes

Cd’s

Gifts

Cards

Friendship Bands

Books

AFTER MARRIAGE

Pain Killers

Loan Papers

Unpaid Bills

 

 

44. So many options for suicide:

Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,

jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,

but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

 

45. Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night.

 

46. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

 

47. Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

 

48. Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.

 

49. Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.

 

50. Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage.

 

51. A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

 

52. Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

 

53. A first-rate marriage is like a first-rate hotel: expensive, but worth it.

 

54. "if Ur father iz Not Rich

Dats Ur Luck

But

If Ur Fathr-in-Law iz Not Rich dats Ur StupiditY"

 

 

 

[HOPEFUL BACHELORZ ASSOCIATION]

 

55. Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

 

56. I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.

 

57. I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.

 

58. The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane.

 

59. Wedding rings: the world's smallest handcuffs.

 

60. The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

 

61. Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

 

62. Marriage is not a word - it is a sentence.

 

63. Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.

 

64. The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

 

65. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

 

66. Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.

 

67. Women hope men will change after marriage but they don't; men hope women won't change but they do.

 

68. Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses.

 

69. A perfect marriage is one in which "I'm sorry" is said just often enough.

 

70. The highest happiness on earth is marriage.

 

71. Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert.

 

72. Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

 

73. A love that lasts for twenty years may be better than love, but it isn't love.

 

74. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

 

75. Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

 

76. Love is one long sweet dream,

And marriage is the alarm clock

 

77. Grooms, once you marry,

please remember that when

you have a discussion

with your future wife,

always try to get the

last two words in: “Yes dear”

 

78. You are the twinkle of my eyes;

The smile on my lips;

The joy of my face;

Without you I am incomplete.

Relationship doesn’t get closer by meetings

but it is sweetend by THOUGHTS.

 

79. Q: Why do brides wear white?

A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.

 

80. Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.

 

81. A Couple Before Marriage

"MAD" For Each Other ...

 

 

After Marriage

"MADE" For Each Other ...

 

 

And

 

 

A Few Years Later

"MAD" Because Of Each Other...

 

82. ''MARRIAGE''

Is Nature's Way

Of Preventing

''PEOPLE''

From Fighting With

''STRANGERS'' ...

 

83. Don't Marry The Person ,

You Want To Live With...

 

Marry The One ,

You Cannot Live Without...

 

But

Remembr

Whatever You Do,

 

 

 

 

 

You Will Regret It Later...

 

84. Secret of Happy Marriage - ACCEPT -

Attraction,

Communication,

Commitment,

Enjoyment,

Purpose,

Trust.

Follow these and dat home of urs will be heaven.

 

85. Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

 

86. Q: If marriages r made in heaven,

than wht r made in Hell?

Answer: The days after marriage!

 

87. Don’t marry the person you want to live with…

Marry the one you cannot live without…

But whatever you do, you will regret it later..

 

88. Marriage is very important part of life.

You know why?

?

?

?

?

?

Because

“Life is not only about happiness”

 

89. Man 1: I do not want to marry.

Because I am afraid of all women.

Man 2: Get marry soon.

Then you will be afraid of

only one woman and start loving the rest

 

90. Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man.

 

91. Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.

 

92. Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced.

 

93. Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.

 

94. Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.

 

95. Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

 

96. Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...

 

97. Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno.

 

98. Marriage is a rest period between romances.

 

99. Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.

 

100. In the book that is my memory, on the first page of the chapter when I met you, are written the words: "Here begins a new life"